The Morning After “Bawi”

She’d closed the app. The number on the screen was still in her head. Her first thought: bawi. Just one more. Get some of it back.

She knew, somewhere in the back of her mind, that “one more” had a way of becoming many. But in that moment it didn’t feel that way. It felt logical. Necessary.

She had set something up earlier—a simple reminder that would show when she opened certain apps. She’d chosen it on a good day. When the screen appeared, she didn’t feel controlled. She felt … interrupted. In a good way.

She didn’t tap through. She put the phone in the other room and made tea. The urge was still there, but it wasn’t in charge.

The next morning the number still bothered her. But the panic was softer. She’d given herself one night. That was the takeaway: not forever, not never—just not right then.